Clearly this is a case of responsible fundraising: When I was five-years old I killed all my neighbor’s flowers with my bare hands. When I was six-years old I chopped down a tree with a ninja throwing star. So … who’s the real man now Stetson?
Hello Goodmorning: I picked the wrong morning to stop huffing gasoline.
The art of the bosu ball
So memories of the boot camp are long gone, we finished up just before we went away. After the holidays, I needed something to get me feeling all smug again!( oh, and fit)
The answer is the bosu ball.
See picture above.
It involves Aisling(fit boot camp leader who “motivated” us) making us do things with our triceps and hamstrings that humans shouldn’t on that half ball thing you can see in the picture. It helps with your balance and also causes you to look silly and fall a lot.
But, it is good.
So good that afterwards I feel aching but pretty happy with myself.
You will regret this…one day
When I was a teenager, I was into black pieces of material that could be tied around my neck, Doc Marten boots and coloured lenses sunglasses.
So were my friends. We thought we were pretty with it.
Looking over those photos, we were clearly not with it.
Not one bit actually.
In 2011, a similar curse in “fashion” has been afflicted upon us. Ugly people can wear them. Beautiful people can too. They will instantly make you think that you are the coolest person on the planet, all you have to do is slip on a pair of nerd glasses. I decided to carry out some extensive research which involved googling “nerd glasses”. Try it, it’s lots of fun.
Here we have Avril Lavigne with interesting hair and those evil things on her eyes.
I think all of these people (and there are billions of them out there allowing themselves to be photographed wearing these things) will really, really regret wearing the glasses.
Even Anne Hathaway can’t pull it off, mainly because she is already a nerd.
non-famous teenagers/people will come out of this the worst. See above.
However, all is not lost.
If you really want to wear those nerd glasses that you bought today, you can.
You just have to look exactly like the person below and have started wearing them back in the 1990s not 2011.
Jarvis “rocked” these nerd glasses…and always has.
Pay attention down the back.
Faro-start of the holidays
The view from my hotel room
The above may be a lie.
The book was much better than the film
Just saw some reviews for the films “One day”and “Final destination 5”
“One day” got 2 stars while “Final destination” received 3.
I had no intention of reading “One day” or seeing the film of the same name.
But, at least all those superior beings can repeat their mantra:
“The book is so much better than the film”
Me in holiday mode in Faro,Portugal
Faro-start of the holidays
The flight with ryanair was bright yellow and stressful. Ryanair push you to the limit in every way, forcing you to put everything into one bag, cramp you into tiny seats and play incessant music and advertisements.
An hour into the flight, they play an audio of an alcohol beverage being poured. Yep, you’d need one after that. But, there’s more to come-an painful, ear popping and aggressive land on the runway and you’re free from the clutches of ryanair, for another while. The heat hit us the second we got off the plane in Faro. Faro is the place where all the Sun worshippers fly into before leaving swiftly for random beach resorts. But, not us, we were staying in Faro for the night. We like being different.
The city of Faro is actually very cute, situated on a harbour surrounded by nice cafes and shops. We found a Fish restaurant quickly enough, I ordered a grilled chicken, Simon got the sardines and Marion got the Sea Bream. It was all really good, alongside a healthy glass of white wine, I was relaxed and in holiday mode. As we walked back to our hotel, the streets were busy with night goers. I didn’t sleep well, there were two pillow options-really, really hard or really, really soft. Unlike, Goldilocks, there was no middle option so I plumped(no pun intended) for the soft one. It was uncomfortable and the air conditioning kept me cool but awake.
Breakfast was adequate, salty ham, crusty bread and 2 types of juice that had no juice in them and tasted the same as each other. Paulo Tullio, your job is safe. We checked out, the little man in the hotel took our cases. We found a nice cafe bar, by the Marina and had proper black coffee, not those silly, watered down ones that we get back home. Thick, heavy and powerful. Life is good.
Onto Lisbon later today on the train but before that we are off to visit a Jewish Cemetery and a Chapel of Bones. There’s a joke there somewhere but I’ll let you make it.
Hello Goodmorning: Mama don’t take no shit.
I’m hip, I’m cool, I’m with it.
I’ve noticed how cool it is recently to be a DJ. It used to be totally uncool when I was a teenager. A sweaty man in charge of the “Erection Section/slow set was not attractive.
But, now a DJ is everything you have to be in life. If you are a DJ, you are cool.
Fact.
. 
There are some rules you must adhere to though.
1. You should be utterly serious about your new “passion” and keep a seriously cool pose while “mixing it up”.
It takes a lot of concentration to listen to music, look at the turntable and look cool.
2. Do not look happy or make v signs/thumbs-up.
These will wreck the image you’re trying to create.
3. Try to be famous and have a talent for something else.
Sarah Harding has gone one better, she is engaged to a DJ. Simply by posing with him, she automatically has “street credit”.
Obama doesn’t quite get it somehow.
But, I’ve decided to take it even further, being a DJ is so last season. I’ve spent a long time thinking about this, planning the right moment, wearing the right clothes and I’ve came up with….Drum roll….
I’ll be a drummer!
In a hard rock band.
And I’ll wear a flowery vest top.
I’ll look serious but cool.
I’ll let my roots grow out to show how “serious” I am about being a drummer.
What ya think?
